"The safest road to hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts."      C.S. Lewis

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.

One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours
as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn’t go further.

So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and
snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon.
The butterfly emerged easily but
it had a swollen body and shriveled wings.

The man continued to watch it,
expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge
and expand enough to support the body,
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around.
It was never able to fly.

What the man in his kindness
and haste did not understand:
The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening
was a way of forcing the fluid from the body
into the wings so that it would be ready
for flight once that was achieved.

Sometimes struggles are exactly
what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been
and we would never fly.

So have a nice day and struggle a little and teach well.

Author Unknown

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    If we perceive our weakness and struggle as the resources of our growth, we'll be content with what we have and calm in stormy days. For me, it's not a matter of mental power or a self-made comfort, but God sometimes refines us by the use of suffering, unchangeable tragedy, inferior background, and unique personal trait ...

    Lord, please give me this insight and put it imprinted on my mind. I know You are not the God in my good days, but also the One in unresolved, incomprehensible despair. Amen.

   I still remember the trip in China with some family members last year, just 2 weeks before leaving Hong Kong to the States. Even that trip was short and the weather was pretty bad, it was so memorable though ...

   In the second day, we were taken upward to a scenic spot by an old van. Then we walked downward from the scenic spot to the hotel. There were some waterfalls, rivers, shelters, and varity of plants alongside us. Suddenly, a thunderstorm and a downpour came during walking toward our hotel. We didn't expect that and bring enough umbrellas ...

   Mom and I used a umbrella and walked very slowly to the hotel. Her shoes were old and slippery. Since part of the route was polished, I grabbed my Mom's hand and chatted to her so as to distract her attention. I could feel her worries (we both were pessimists...haha...) She expressed that she was afraid we could not get to the hotel and we might get hurt or cold ... I encouraged her repeatedly "20 minutes more! We'd get to the hotel very soon. Don't worry, Mom. I have already grabbed your hand, you no longer fall down due to the wettness of the ground." Actually, I didn't know the time required for us to get there at that moment, just want to give her a hope only. "Yes, I don't need to worry as you, the youngest son, grab my hand tightly." my Mom said. I could feel that she tried to give me a comfort. She didn't want me to worry about her ... My Mom is very kind to us; however, she sometimes hides her feelings with a smile ... If my memory is not at fault, this is the first time for me to hold my Mom's hand tight ... I guess I will not forget this rare but intimate touch, physically and emotionally. 

   An hour later, we all got to the hotel safely. I thanked God for keeping us unharmed and, more importantly, giving me the BEST and the GENTLEST mother. She is 75 years old. It seems that more and more diseases can be found on her body. Her ears, back and blood pressure get a kind of problems. I know that she will leave us and go to the Heavenly Father in the near future. When I think about it ... my nose feels sour ... I guess I could not accept this at that moment ... However, when I know that I can meet her in heaven and sit at the same table with her. I really feel blessed and excited about this.

   May God bless you, Mom. Let me say ... "Mom, I Love You."

What's my identity?

A husband, a son, a student, a friend, a neighbor, a church member ...

But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God's instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference He made for you - from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.      1 Peter 2:9

How precious is our identity!!!

I have been labelled or I label myself as an inferior person. I believe that label and feel like I can't keep my back straight in front of people and 'me.' Those inferior feelings corrode my self image gradually and deny my innate identity that was assigned by Him. 

During discovering myself in counseling sessions, the identity was found! It means a lot to me since I will not feel ashamed anymore because of what I did or where I come from. This 'old but also new' conviction has become the one that I can strongly hold it so as to live in a joyful and peaceful way.

Furthermore, I need to tell people about this good news. We don't need to live under self-blaming, guilt, and low self-esteem, but in holiness (from His eyes). Most of unbelievers or even Christians are still live in their self-defined identity. I think it would be a 180 degree of change if they thoroughly recognize this Good news.

Thank you, God. You give all Christians precious identity. Though You do not request us to be 'perfect', I would like to be a good follower. I think this is what I can only respond to your REWARD. Jesus, you know how weak I am. Strengthen me to resist the satan's strategies and guide me to the place where You want me to go. Amen.

This is the first passage when I got to the States... 

Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of  need.    (Hebrews 4:16 NKJV)

From my perspective, everyone has his or her own darkroom that is heavily locked. We all don't allow other people to visit and even we try to ignore that room, regard it as "non-existence"; however, we will find that we need to address and make it tidy in order to have a whole emotional and spiritual well-being.

How can I face my own messy room? Actually, I have no gut or ability to make it tidy since I have ignored it for a long time. When I think about it, I feel embarassed and a little bit frustrated since I know I complete the task by myself.

I was reminded today that Jesus have come to the earth and experienced every temptation and difficulty as we have; but He did not sin. He also promise us that we can get mercy and grace from Him at the time of need. Not only does He bring hope to me, but also relieve my anxiety.

In church community, we are used to presenting our best side, but hiding the darkroom. I think brothers and sisters in the community can share everything even our weaknesses, sorrow, ... I believe Jesus would work and heal in this kind of community.

Lord, what I can do right now is to let Holy Spirit work inside of me. Please give me strength during the renewal of mine and always awake my soul when I am confused. Please also remind me how important is the intimate relationship among bros and sisters. Thank you, Lord. You are so faithful to all of us. Amen.

When Your words showed up, I ate them - swallowed them whole. What a feast!           Jeremiah 15 : 16, The Message

But blessed is the man who trusts me, God, the woman who sticks with God. They're like trees replanted in Eden, putting down roots near the rivers - Never a worry through the hottest of summers, never dropping a leaf, Serene and calm through droughts, bearing fresh fruit every season.                  Jeremiah 17 : 7-8, The Message

The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be.                Jeremiah 17:9-10, The Message

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Lord, I would eat all Your Words You gave and let them point out my faults in my mind. I truly trust You, Lord since You have been the source of my joy and peace. 

In Jeremiah 2, there are some verses that can lively describe ourselves:

'When will you stop running? When will you stop panting after other gods? But you say, "Save your breath. I'm in love with these foreign gods, and I can't stop loving them now!" '                 (verse 25, NLT)

'...they never look me in the face. But when things go badly, they don't hesitate to come running, calling out, "Get a move on! Save us!" '                (verse 27, The Message)

'... But my people forget me. Day after day after day they never give me a thought.'                 (verse 32, The Message)

'... I have done nothing wrong. Surely God isn't angry with me!...'                  (verse 35, NLT)

What did the Lord respond to our rebellion? See the chapter 3,

'... Turn back, fickle Israel. I am not just hanging back to punish you. I am committed in love to you. My anger doesn't seethe nonstop. Just admit your God-defiance. Admit to your promiscuous life with casual partners, pulling strangeres into the sex and religion groves while turning a deaf ear to me.' ... 'Come back, wandering children!' ... 'I, yes I, am your true husband. ...'                      (verse 12-14, The Message)

How His Tremendous Love!!! Thank you Lord. I am deeply touched by Your everlasting love and forgiveness. Your endless Mercy drives me not to hurt You anymore and treasure every forgiveness as jewel.

Since I had joined the facebook, birthday greetings and phone calls from friends were greatly increased in number this year. So fantastic tool of communication!!!

I made my birthday wishes at 00:00 with my lovely wife, Joey. AND she prepared dishes for me tonight, pawns and noodles with beef sauce, tomatos and some seafoods ... so delicious ... I was amazed what she cooked (she told me that she had prayed before cooking, haha) and touched by what she did for me (she's really tired from work).

Thanks, Joey, my sweetheart. You have already entered somewhere in my heart I never open it to others. At last, thank you Lord, You sent her as my lifelong partner. She is the One (the Only one) I longed for. We both are growing spiritually, socially and mentally when living, chatting, playing, reading the Bible together. What a blessing!!!

He gave me TWO signs that let us know we are on the right track.

1. My GRE score is exactly the same as the average score of one of the US university. (Note: the total score is 1600)

2. When I had a lesson in Breakthrough Youth Village last Wednesday, I found that there were 4 guests wearing clothes printed 'IWU' (Indiana Wesleyan University) that is one of the target schools (Note: there are several thousand universities / colleges in US).

Um...I am not saying that we can go to the US and start our study in coming September after observing these 2 signs, BUT we recognize that Jesus knows our faith in Him was not great enough. He then let us know a fact 'He holds our future' by sending these signs. How wonderful He is!

For me, most importantly, my wife was amazed and touched by His works! This is what I concern most. 

Dear Lord, may You keep my wife's faith in You growing and your plan be done in Your time . Amen.