The more I know, the less I see. The less I know, the more I see.

It’s true. In a sense, our thinking pattern was moulded by different ways, such as education, personal experiences, tradition, and family etc. It’s like the way of thinking is constrained, strictly speaking, less creative as all our alternatives are mostly educated or learned from others’ experiences. I don’t like routines. I like variety. Imagine what a boring world if all things look alike or human beings behave similarly.

Though I don’t have any talent of composing music, drawing picture or other else, a variety of ways of doing and being is what I am always longing. As the Lord, He made this world in highly creative and amazing way so as to show us His masterpiece, more accurately, His openness and acceptance.

May I know less…

Fearing God (by obeying Him with LOVE), keeping faith in Him, and making every effort to be His “good” son are some of the keys to have close relationship with Him. Some people may ask me why I need to have good relationship with Him. I am actually afraid of being alone as … I don’t trust myself being His follower as there are many temptations that are set before me (or us). The feelings of uncertainty, no direction in life, and self-centeredness really scare me since I have tasted them before.

Without you, I bet I’ll lose in many battles. Lord, please help me to be Your beloved Son. You clearly know my deepest thought …

But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night.
They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season.
   Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do.

Psalm 1:2-3 (NLT)

The wish that I made on Jan 1, 2012 is to study the Bible in more systematic way and meditate verses throughout the day. Not because of getting the promise, just because of the fact that His Words are wise, bring us comfort and, more importantly, let us know Heavenly Father more clearly. Sometimes He speaks to me through His Words, particularly at the times of confusion, weakness, and desperation.

May He give me perseverance to keep studying and meditating the Words. Amen.

My dream is to provide professional counseling for the poor. I am pretty sure that it’s the calling of God and it’s also my deepest desire. It seems to me that I can hear the poor’s request of help, whatever emotional, educational, and spiritual ones. What a blessing for me to walk with them at the midst of desperate period of time!

Even so, I still need to wait … to wait for the coming of right moment since my experiences tell me that God’s timing is very precise and absolutely good to me. Though long waiting is sometimes described as a torture, it’s worth waiting as every great harvest takes time.

Lord, I trust you so much as You are so faithful to every Son and Daughter.

Quoted from the book called ‘The LIES We Believe’: The point here is that there are no real have to’s until you choose to want some specific result or outcome in your life. Then, the have to’s are real, but you still freely choose them (P.147).

I like what author, Dr. Chris Thurman, mentioned to use the statement pattern like ‘I choose to …’ instead of ‘I have to …’

I chose to reconcile with my Daddy.

I chose to get rid of my bad habits like … (sorry… I can’t tell you guys…)

I chose to quit my job to follow His calling.

I choose to change my value toward money, power, and sex (those three are most influential things for men).

I choose to save more money for our house, future (emphasized…) baby, buying books, …

I choose to believe what the Bible says instead of analyze each word of it. 

I choose to think the positive side of things like mysely, people, and events.

I choose to listen my wife’s order (no… advice!).

I choose to be influenced by the Word.

On the other hand, …

I choose to avoid seeing people, particularly on Sundays and after school or internship.

I choose to make Joey annoyed.

I choose to live under the ‘shadow’ and let it affect me adversely.

I choose to do something that hurts Him and Joey.

“Seeing this leads to greater acceptance of personal responsibility for what we choose to do in life and, consequently, a lot less bitterness and resentment.” (P.146)

Well said! If I change the above ‘chose to’ and ‘choose to’ with ‘have to’, sounds like I live as a captive and no genuine freedom inside of me.

Dear Jesus, I need to carry the responsibility of my deeds. I admit that I have many imperfections in personality, behavior, and thought. Please help me see myself in a positive way, give me courage to accept myself and cleanse the rest of messy rooms of my life. I believe that, with your gracious help, I am capable to choose-to-do something that is good for me physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Amen.   

Aquote from the book called “COURAGE and CALLING” by Gordon T. Smith:

“It is imperative that we ask these questions: What is it that I long for? What are the desires of my heart? What brings me joy? Yes, the desires of our hearts matter. We often think of the desires of our hearts as evil or at least suspect. But the psalmist assures us that God long s to give us our desires: “Take delight in the Lord, and He wil give you the desirs of your heart” (Psalms 37:4). It is sheer hypocrisy to deny the longings that arise when our hearts are at peace with God.”

*****

I long for … having a small room for me to talk to people in need with heart and walk with them in their journey.

The desires of my heart are … being a faithful servant of Him and a child with a simple faith.

What brings me joy is … chatting with God, my little Angel, i.e. Joey, always. Every time I get frustrated and worried, seeing and talking with them face-to-face release me from emotional disturbance.

Demon, stay away with me! Jesus, give me a pure heart and sow the seeds of Your love, particularly at the untold and shameful part of my heart. Amen. 

For this is what the LORD Almighty says: “After he has honored me and has sent me against the nations that have plundered you—for whoever touches you touches the apple of his eye.    (Zechariah 2:8, NIV)

After a period of glory, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies sent me against the nations who plundered you. For he said, “Anyone who harms you harms my most precious possession.    (Zechariah 2:8, NLT)

We all are ‘the apple of His eye’ - His most precious possession. What a divine identity for all Christians!

When I look back my past: something is good, something can make me proud; however, something is shameful, something makes us regret … I even forget how many people I have already hurt … I may leave some unforgettable memories in their minds. How can I stand in front of Him, the purest and the most divine God? It seems like everyone has something that hinders our growth, i.e. more act like Him. I truly believe it is a way for us to get close to Him if we perceive it in different light and repent what we did.

I wonder why you care, God — why do you bother with us at all?
   All we are is a puff of air; we’re like shadows in a campfire.   (Psalms 144:3-4)

I don’t know how to describe my heartfelt gratitude toward His salvation and forgiveness… I am still impressed with the feeling of release from the prison of sin. Thank you Jesus.

Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
       and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering,
       he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
       and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.

After the suffering of his soul,
       he will see the light of life and be satisfied ;
       by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
       and he will bear their iniquities.

Isaiah 53:10-11

During the first 5-week internship, my weight was reduced to 161 pounds, that is 5 pounds less than before internship. The pressure and challenge I experienced are huge and unprecedented. However, I deeply thank God because I felt calm unexpectedly even though I can’t change the environment where I am and sometimes I feel a bit of frustrated. Actually, my personal sign of His presence is that when I am in a very stressful situation, my mind feels exceptionally peaceful and at the same time, my palms are very dry. For me, I have not met that experience for several years. Dear Lord, your presence means a lot to me and gives me courage to walk along the road that you want me to go.

I like the below message, quoted from http://dailydisciples.org/ (August 14-15)

The word Christian means “little Christ.” As Christians, we are not greater than our Master and His call on earth was to suffer. The NIV says that He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not (Isaiah 53:3).Jesus was filled with all the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control) while still suffering and in sorrow. That is the goal of the Christian’s life. Despite all the emotional, mental, physical, circumstantial torment, we have love, joy, peace, patience-through it all.

The rain falls on the just and unjust alike. It falls on the saved and the unsaved. We are not spared from trials because we are Christians. But it is through the everyday issues of life that we are changed into Christ-likeness because of them. Jesus is our example as well as our intercessor who knows and understands whatever we are facing. Turn to face Him, knowing that the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.

I seldomly think about the life in Heaven, though it is a privilege for all Christians. What I treasure most in my life is with Him at the difficulties or at the time of hopelessness. His comforts from the Word are like the candles in the darkest room, or a cup of water in a desert. When I remember Jesus experienced different unfair treatments, emotional/physical tortures, betrayal and many others, I am strengthened and feel much comforted as He clearly understands how I feel right now and He set a very good example for me: How to live His life in a narrow road.

Thank you, Lord. I really need You in my life. I can return nothing but my little faith.

I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakiness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handcap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness … I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.              (extracted from 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, The Message)

Just before writing this passage, I was really weak physically, emotionally, and spiritually. However, His words are so powerful and helpful that I can get strength, understanding, and hope from Him, even if I am still under the high stress and struggling with my ‘handicap’. It seems to me that every time I experience my real self, i.e. the hidden emotion and the dark side of me, His grace and forgiveness come to me on time. It sounds like He offers a cup of water to a thirsty in a desert. No, … a gallon of water and food, including ice-cream and pops …

Thank you Lord. I really love you.  

Long before He laid down earth’s foundations, he had usin mind, had settled on us as the focus of His love, to be made whole and holy by His love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into His family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure He took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of His lavish gift-giving by the hand of His beloved Son. 

Becaus of the sacrifice of the Messiah, His blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we’re a free people – free of penalities and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free! He thought of everthing, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making.           Ephesians 1:4-8 (Message)

In short, the verses bring us a message that EVERY true believer in God was chosen, is blessed, favored, adopted, redeemed, and forgiven. I am wondering why He did or does these for us, though we are rebelled and sinful in nature. I deeply thank God for giving us this prestigious, divine identity and treating us as His own Son. How I respond to this … um … even I am living under high stress, frustrations, and worries, I AM still His beloved, protected by His mighty power, encouraged by His tremendous love, and cleansed by His blood. After knowing this reality, I am brave enough and feel very calm to face daily seeming unbeatable challenges and receive unwanted setbacks.

Right now, what kind of stuff that makes me worry … I guess … is … having internship in a private counseling center and seeking job when going back to Hong Kong. These verses certainly give me strength spiritually to deal with my emotions and anticipate His upcoming provision. More importantly, even the ‘results’ are not what I want, the identity He gave me is unshakable by external matters and His every promises become my hopes toward tomorrow. Thank you Lord. 

May these verses bless those who read them thoughfully. Amen.